Illusions

We didn't all grow up in a fairytale land. Not all of us have wonderful memories to cherish.
And I don’t feel sorry at all for those who didn't! Because I grew up in a neighborhood so bad, so rough, that you would get shot while you were being shot!

Ok who am I kidding... but wouldn't it be cool if I could say that? Truth is, I don’t think so. I am very happy with whatever memories I hold, and I more than happy with the way I've been brought up. It’s only in situations that require one to stand strong, that I truly recognize the irreplaceable values of upbringing that my dear parents have planted in me.

Every so often I amuse myself with my intermittent memory of my early childhood. Several things make me wonder.. Why was it so? Why did that happen? Did I really do that? What really gets me thinking though is the reason why certain memories in particular are imbedded in the back of my head… for instance out of all the days as a child, going to kindergarten, why is that I remember this one day.. and I remember every single detail about it. There’s nothing special at all, yet I seem to remember everything about it. For some odd reason I remember my earliest fears. Out of these fears, the only one that could’ve posed as a serious matter was my fear of darkness. No, I’m not talking about the kind that so many kids experience, I’m talking about the kind that makes you sleep with the light on up until the age of about 14!!... Relax, there’s nothing wrong with me el-7amdillah, its just that I think many things amplified this fear along the years.

Untold secret… I was once going through old family albums, and came across one of my first childhood albums. On the first couple of pages were dates that you could fill in like first smile, first sat up, first walked etc. What really grabbed my attention was an odd one that said “first afraid of the dark”, and right under the date my parents had written “repeated the word “tetan” (Satan)”. Freaky? Well it’s true. Bear in mind that this was way to early for me to have known anything related to Islam, let alone the devil!